I really don't know what to say. Do your circumstances permit you to try another Psychiatrist? Is there another hospital? Some counties provide mental health screenings independent of hospitals.

You are in crisis. Please hold off on planning details and look for support; (I have no support network, do you even have a hint of one?). Do you have a co-worker, friend family member?

The few times I was suicidal, I was alone in the house with means. I got the hell out and ran pointless errands. One time, I literally jumped out of my chair and ran out when I noted how I felt.

Regards,
Lazarus