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As a child, i was as emotional as any other. I chased after my mother, and she was always there for me- so I know I don't have a problem due to unsecured attachment. My dad was there as often as possible- he worked as a director for a company, so he was often in business meetings all over the nation; he still does this and it's still difficult to track him sometimes, but we have a strong relationship.
Meanwhile, at the age of approximately ten, I suddenly stopped feeling. Throughout elementary school, one might say I was almost too emotional. Everything upset me. I had violent tendencies. And I had (have) problems with authority figures. But beginning in middle school, I just sort of stopped feeling.
Unlike all my friends, I didn't have crushes, I didn't get into silly little fights, and I didn't care to be social. While I've gotten better at hiding it, the facts remain the same. I try to be in relationships, but the several efforts I've made have borne no fruit. I've broken up with all of them because even though I thought it would work, after three weeks with all of them I couldn't withstand it. With one, I lasted five months- when he broke up with me, I was bothered for about two days, then forgot about him.
Since about last year, I've become exceedingly interested in psychology, and I've gone into college (currently freshman) as a psych major with a neurological focus on emotional-cognitive processes. It seems my inability to empathize has led me to a lifestyle focused on emotions. My incapacity has led to an obsession. I'm not quite sure if I should just let it go and find a major that wont be so personal and anxiety-ridden, or if I should stay on my path because I feed off of this knowledge, so I know I would prosper. Also, I know I would be working with people with the same focus on emotions as me, so I fear they would see through my facade.
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