What a mess - too bad he didn't recognize what a private matter bp dx is... I'd understand more if you guys had good close communication and he needed some friends' support for his processing. To me, no wonder you became close with the special friend. Also - I don't see it as infidelity - you stopped it before it got to that point it sounds.

Therapy could really help. He should apologize for lying to you about his stonerism, telling people your private business and accusing you of infidelity. A marriage should be a team. But I know I'm a dreamer, it's probably never so easy.

Sorry that happened. I'd be furious...