((ksrow)),

PTSD often presents this "rage/anger" pop up reaction. I have struggled with it myself and I know what you mean about how "it's different" and you "regret" it after it happens.

PTSD "can" happen after suffering "abuse" as you are describing too. This woman clearly had her "own issues" and turned on you when you didn't expect it. You were at a tender age too, and had no way of understanding "why" either, but ended up in a bad place because of her treatment. She actually turned into a bully and put you down in front of others, punished you when you were actually "doing better".

Being "bullied" can cause a person to develop PTSD too. You can even look it up online.

I am very "sorry" that happened to you. You really should find a therapist that you can work this out with.

I can't diagnose you, but I can validate how you are challenged and direct you to taking some time to research it online and encourage you to get "help" with this from someone who really "can" help you.

Another clue is that you get "triggered" and react whenever you face a "reminder" of the abuse you suffered too. Whenever we are "hurt" or experience something "bad", we are designed to become "more sensitive" and aware, it is really how we "survive".
So when we get "cues" that something is "wrong" somehow, we do get "fight/flight" response signals that have been formed deep in the subconscious mind. And a person can become "hyper aware". Working with a therapist will help you better manage these reminders and "learn from" what happened to you, instead of feeling you need to be "on guard" all the time.

(((Hugs)))
OE