Thanks for the replies. The reason I have not "gone off" on family members is because in a sick way I know they mean well. But it is so damn frustrating to receive backhanded compliments again and again.

Another part of the story is that this is my foster family. I was given up for adoption at 7 weeks and this is the only family I know. I am thankful they took me in and cared for me my whole life, though they were never financially able to adopt me. I actually left this family for a year when I just could not work things out with my mom. I realized my mistake and tried to mend the bridges.

But in a sick way, I wish I never had. I selfishly think my life would be much better and easier if I had not reunited with them, because then I would have fewer people to disappoint and stress me out.

I know what I need to do to change, but I cannot seem to kick myself in the butt to make the change. I desperately want to work and even move to start a new life somewhere. I actually did look at the city where one of my only friends lives, but it is just so expensive to live there. I have no employment, beyond a bit of freelancing I do, and that, along with my pension, is simply not enough.