Ever since I was little, my mom has tried to get me to go to church and for awhile I did. But whenever I step into a church or any place religious, I feel sufficated and I get hot flashes. I'm very uncomfortable and I feel like I need to leave immediately. A long time ago I stopped going to these places and have avoided them since. I always continued to pray every night though, until last year when I actually hit rock bottom in life. I became very upset with everything (including God) and stopped praying. I felt awful about this, so I decided to give praying another chance. And this is the honest truth, when I started to pray again, all sorts of bad things started happening, I don't know if it was coincidental or not, but it really confused me. I stopped praying again and things returned to normal. I tried this several times again and the same results would appear. It's been over a year since the last time I prayed or even mentioned God's name in my head and thoughts. I can't understand why it seems like God doesn't want anything to do with me. I have opened my heart to Him, but I don't think He has done the same.