I understand your grief. I had to leave my pdoc when I moved too. I was with him for almost 9 years. He has been the best pdoc I've ever had...I truly miss him. I am lucky that I'm getting a chance to go back and see him a couple times to check in with him. I still journal a lot about my problems and they are like letters to him--we were together so long that I can imagine what he would say. He also has podcasts so I can listen to him. Could your T make a a CD for you--maybe a meditation or something?....D.