this is stupid! I've had enough now. I don't know why I fall apart when I am alone, which isn't much of the time at all.

i'm handling it better than I ever had before, but I can't help but see the impending doom here. My wife reading this all and getting a surprise about me. She hates surprises and I don't know how to tell her that even though I have this on the inside that I am letting out, that I am still good to go for when she is home. I just don't like the whole, being alone thing.

and even if she doesn't read it today, she could read it at any time.

as if that is not enough....

I have to dig myself out of this hole and be okay for when everyone starts coming home and not have high anxiety.

which I will do.

then I will be fine.

cuz I will have to be.

I'm really angry at the thought that I should have to worry about using a support group! Like, what? I should have to watch my back just cuz I feel this way?!

ugh... rant over.