According to tittle of this thread..

I wanna ask your opinion about my condition..
Its been 6months i have my session with pdoc
He said im depressed which i know since 4years ago

Because of ptsd as a victim of violence
And having a great deal with my condition become disabled..

I have tried 4time to ignoring my psychological condition and try to facing my trauma
I have a dream since i was in junior high school, and i would never reach that dream if im not facing it.
Bad for me, everytime i try to facing that things.. I always get sick by self limited disease which bring me nearly to the death..

Pdoc ask me to forget my dream and try another..
Taking that dream for me is same as you ask me to die..
On another hand, i realize i could be die everytime i try and my pdoc wouldnt let me do that..

What you think that i should have to do?