Yeah... it's just I have this weird thing where even though I have had friends who have like... abandoned me when I was going through difficult times I still have this weird kind of hope that like 5 years down the road.. or even 2 years they'll look at my profile and want to reconnect or something. Or maybe I'll be feeling less insecure and so I'd message them and ask how they're doing. And maybe we'd meet up again and they could see how I have survived and thrived! Silly I know... perhaps a little masochistic and narcissistic... I don't know..

These friends haven't really bothered me or anything. None of them have defriended me. I thought of defriending them but then decided it wasn't worth the trouble because, like I've said, no one has actually said anything that has hurt the other person (face to face, I had to hear they all thought I was emotionally draining from a mutual friend we have who had said the same thing - but for her.. she was allowed to say it and I know she meant it in a way that was just explaining how she felt; she was the only one who waited with me at the hospital for 8 hours! one time when I checked myself in for feeling suicidal).

So I figured I could just keep them all on there... it's just annoying to see when someone has posted something indicating that they all still hang out. It bothers me. But I'm just trying to get over it and just let it be and not focus on their abandonment but just the fact that it's perhaps good that it happened because it shows who are my true friends and who aren't and who I should invest my time with because they actually give a **** and the others who are just in it for fun times.