Hi everyone,

Ok just going to say what's going on and sorry if it gets to long.
I am going through a lot of different things right now. First I am having some trouble with work still. I just got a raise, and wanted to ask them why they would give me one when I have missed so much work. I have been working my shifts regularly again am just worried the anxiety is going to come back.

I started a new med a week ago. I was put on lithium for the major depression I have. Since have started the med am more suicidal and so much more depressed than usually feel. I don't know if it's the med or that I am just in a rut once again.

I also had some memories come back to me and am feeling really numb as well as depressed, don't even know if that's possible. Anyways, talked to my T about them today and I just told her it really hasn't hit me yet, I am still in shock I think. I don't know.

Also my grandma has been sick for a little over a month. She is home after being in the hospital and nursing home for a short time. My dad stays there every night because she won't let anyone else do anything for her. I miss my dad. We used to meet outside every night ( we live next door to each other) and talk and catch up on the day. Now we talk on the phone maybe once a day. I Know all of this is wearing on my dad and am afraid what is going to happen when my grandma does pas.

I don't know if any of this is making sense. I just don't know what to do with myself. There is no possible way to take time off work to get a break, I have to be there especially as the student return to school.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and if have any feedback I would appreciate it.
hugs,
jen