So sorry for what you are dealing with. I know that my wife was close to leaving me when I was not medicated. I can't imagine the depth of hell that you must be experiencing! Now that I am so much more stable, but still working on it, I can see how destructive I was being and feel terrible. You are a tough soul standing against these tidal waves

I hope he calls or comes home soon, AND in a better mood. My prayers are with you.