I've had this friend since about fourth grade, and she literally knew nothing about me until last semester when I gathered the courage to tell her about my Asperger's syndrome. We were pissed at each other over something that was huge for me and nothing for her, so already there was no common ground. In an attempt to explain my behavior, I opened up a bit and told her that I'm autistic, avoiding the added explanation of what I actually am. That was simple enough.

So she went home and read up on it, on me. After that, she treated me like a god. For some reason she had looked up to me all these years, but that day she went off on this speech, something about how I had "achieved so much and overcome so many symptoms that would have held me back." I really didn't want her to think that, because I didn't overcome any symptoms, I just hid them. I hated to know that she thought more of me than what I actually am.

But that wasn't the worst. A mutual 'friend' would touch me, hug me, stand close to me, and just generally make me uncomfortable. My friend just said outright, "Don't do that, he's autistic." It kind of embarrassed me a whole lot, and from there it just got worse, I guess. When people didn't stop touching me and hugging me, she told them "Can you please not do that? It makes him really uncomfortable." Their response was simply, "Of course it does, that's why I do it." Whaaat??? These are people I was close to, people I thought cared about me. From there they went on to tease me about my voice until I stopped talking completely, then tease me about how I stopped talking, then about my clothes, my hair, my face, everything. Nothing I do is good enough.

Does this one diagnosis I got when I was two years old really determine how everybody treats me for the rest of my life? Am I just that weirdo that they all think they can poke fun at? My social anxieties at the moment are preventing me from disclosing this problem to anyone, and I don't even know what to do anymore.