Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
From what i can see, there is two separate issues. The first being a genuine sexual attraction for your T, you can prob accept this as real since you felt it when you first met her, and therefore it was too early in the relationship to be transference. The second is of course the transference which will muddy the water greatly because it will be confusing and virtually impossible once you're in the depths of it to tell what is transference and what is just sexual attraction. And the pain of unrequited loved, mixed up attachment, frustration and ever other emotion in between is going to be really really tough to deal with.
Attraction thru transference can be worked thru as it often is more about previous relationships particularly earlier in life but can natural sexual desire/attraction be neutralised? I don't know, but i'd guess it would be extremely difficult to quell that and keep the close complicated relationship that it the therapeutic allegiance.
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Yes you articulated my situation very well there, Asiablue. I'm actually thinking the sooner I say something now, perhaps the better, so that she can at least see that this feels like a "mixed up attachment" for me. Before I am, as you put it, in the depths of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
I guess it all depends if you are going to be ok with the idea that an outside relationship isn't going to happen. If that isn't acceptable, then maybe consider a new T.
I was surprised at how soon I developed an attraction to the cbt guy. I know nothing about him except his demeanor and credentials. I kept telling myself that I must be the one bringing this to the table. But I don't want anything to develop outside of T because this is a "safe" relationship for me.
Keep us posted! I need tips on how to talk about it constructively.
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Growly, I did not get to talk to her today about it, because of the urgency of my darn life issues!! But I appreciated her today. So I'm reluctant to let her go.
However, she gave me a journaling assignment and I think I'll sneak the issue in there. I'll let you know if that turns out to be a constructive way to talk about it.
I get to see her next week.
I actually think acceptance for me will increase after she knows, and can convey an understanding - I have a sense she can - and sort of tells me how she hopes I look at it. She can be very persuasive, LOL. I don't mean I'll never have a regret that I can't be with her, but I think I will be able to embrace the therapeutic relationship. But, we'll see. I'm feeling "Que Sera Sera" about it all tonight.
