Im sorry you re feeling in crisis at the moment Candy. please listen to Echoes and see if you can keep contact with your pdoc over the holidays until you get settled with the new one. i know how hard it can be to have a lot of change all at the same time. its exhausting holding it all together if nothing else. try to make some time for yourself every day to just focus on you and on relaxing. maybe have some fun finding/making a new spot that can be just yours to shut the world out for even just 20 minutes or half an hour a day?
i also like the idea of giving your pdoc a poem or personal note of some sort. i think it would be very touching.
i wish you strength and peace during this stressful time.
take care
biiv