Hi Motown. It's only my opinion, but I think you're doing pretty good actually. Getting exercise and working out with "the guys" will help build your self-confidence and self-esteem.

But ... but ... don't think that because you are emotional and have break-downs you're less of a man.

My personal philosophy is this:

A man is honorable. A man is supportive. A man does the right thing even at his own expense.

Being sensitive doesn't make you weak. It makes you a stronger man because you can be supportive others around you when they need your emotional strength. It also gives you the strength to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes men need a shoulder too.

Don't model yourself after your father or Dirty Harry, those are bad examples. Men don't degrade or demean others, they lift others up and give them strength.

It sounds to me like you're doing great actually. Don't define your manhood by aggression and anger, define it by your good deeds.