Maybe I could try a 12 step program, if only for the group. I just wont be able to say the serenity prayer. I know many people have many different interpretations of God, but mine is that there is no difference between God and Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy and I just can't give up my control to any of them. I wish I could because it seems to help some people. Just believing in something other than themselves. I just don't believe it so I can't pretend that I do. There has to be another way.