Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyrabbit
I'm sorry to keep trashing your T - I know it's painful to have people do that - but I really don't think this is okay. Others may differ. But I do not think your T should be taking calls in your session, end of. It's YOUR SESSION!
So I'm a little wary of criticising as you presented this in a way that suggests you think it's okay. But I am really quite shocked by this. A therapist who behaves like this is NOT doing her job. Maybe you need patience, maybe you need silence, maybe you need her presence, maybe what you need isn't about talking. And if talking isn't the right thing for you, if you can't or you don't want to, your T's job is to be there with you anyway, not to accuse you of wasting time. Your T should be there with you in the moment.
Maybe it's something to do with her approach or modality or whatever, idk, but this would be game over for me. How did she get from not talking to not needing her? I'm sorry but that IS rude, and I would feel abandoned. I saw a T like this once. She put me off therapy for ten years by telling me she couldn't help me if I didn't talk - I'm still angry about it now and my T has had to spend months and months reassuring me that I don't have to do anything except show up.
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my point wasnt to agree nor disagree with the original poster....
my point was to show that in ....some client -therapist relationships and in ...some ... therapy sessions what happened is appropriate and in others it isnt. it all depends upon the person who's therapy session it is and their own relationship with their therapist.....
with ....me and my therapist and my therapy sessions..... it is perfectly acceptable and appropriate because of the type of relationship we have and what is expected from my therapist and from me during my therapy sessions.
my therapist and I have the kind of relationship where we both hold to the belief that when I come to therapy I've got something to work on and am ready to work on that issue whole heartedly, with out hesitation, without utilizing negative coping strategies. if something is hard I dont sit there and dodge around, avoid, fidget, hem and haw, not speak and other things that with in me I consider to be negative coping skills, I grew up having therapy sessions due to being abused as a child so I understand the process of therapy and understand how to communicate with my therapist when I am having a hard time. so for me it would be a waste of my therapists and my time if I didnt speak and ask for what I needed. if I need those things you pointed out in your post I ask for them and my therapist gladly gives those things. with in my own sessions, what you pointed out is different than my therapist telling me when you are ready to work let me know and going about her day doing what she needs to do...
example
I went in to my therapy session yesterday feeling absolutely horrible. I walked in and sat down and said...I feel horrible I need a few minutes before I can tell you whats going on. my therapist said ok, is there anything I can do to help you at this moment. I said no and she said ok I will be over here let me know when you are ready. then she went to her desk and made a couple phone calls.
another day I was exhausted, up all night with the twins and didnt know what I wanted to do with my therapy time. I sat there and didnt talk, my therapist doesnt believe in bribing, and other tactics to get a person to talk, if a person is ready to talk they will do so you cant force people to be the way you want them to be. so my therapist looked at me and got up and went to her desk and made some calls. this way if I wanted to waste my therapy session on not working on any of my mental health issues I could and she could choose to not waste her time by getting some other work completed. which is perfectly acceptable for us. I ended up falling asleep, got some much needed rest and she got her work caught up.
I dont expect anyone in this thread to agree with how my therapist and I do things. how things are done for me may not work for others. what matters is that for me it works.
my point of my post is that we all can say to each other how your therapist is doing things is wrong, not appropriate and what ever but the line in the sand is that what we feel is right or wrong is based on how we want our own therapy sessions, what we want from our own therapists. what issues we need to work on in our own therapy sessions and what is acceptable in our own locations.
I dont believe its right to tell others how their therapist is doing things is right or wrong because Im not them, Im not in their location and their therapist may have different rules, regulations, ethics, and work guidelines with the agency that the therapist works for.
we only know what a poster is telling us we dont know what the therapists job is telling that therapist on how she must or must not work with her clients, we dont know what the work ethics are supposed to be in that therapist agency/location...we dont know what standards this therapist and client have....
all we have is what the poster told us and how we feel ourselves if this happened to us. and frankly it is appropriate and acceptable in my therapy sessions, and it is acceptable and appropriate for my therapist to set any boundarys she wants to including how our sessions are going to be conducted, under what rules, guidelines and such my therapist works under.