Having to choose between cutting or dying is a pretty bad place to be. Somehow or other, you need to find another way of coping with things that hurt you. Having been a long term cutter, I know that trapped feeling that just takes over.

Can you get accepted into a long term inpatient therapy situation? Sometimes I think that when people hurt so bad inside that either physical pain or death seems better than what they have, one hour a week is pretty puny. Besides, in the one hour deals, when your time is up, its up, regardless of whether you have just made a major breakthrough.

Right now, it sounds like you need to be in a safe place where you can't harm or kill yourself. Not the most pleasant thought, but neither is the alternative.

Sam2