Hi,

I'm new to this forum (I wrote a short introduction in the new members forum if you're interested). I've got depression and three anxiety disorders and OCD is one of them. I was diagnosed quite recently and unfortunately no one's really taken the time to talk about my diagnoses with me. I find OCD to be the most confusing one and I'm still not convinced I have it, which is why I want to ask a few questions in this thread. I would really appreciate some help.

The only thing my therapist (who I've seen for three weeks) has told me about my OCD is that he definitely thinks my compulsions are excessive and therefore not "normal" behaviour. He's also told me one doesn't need to have both obsessions and compulsions to have OCD. It's apparently enough to have a lot of excessive compulsions to get the diagnosis. You see, I don't think I experience intrusive thoughts. Well, I do experience intrusive thoughts but perhaps not the sort of intrusive thoughts often associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder. I do, however, carry out a lot of compulsions. For example:

- I need things to look "right" and feel "right" so I very often arrange and organise things. I put things in the "right" angles and I put things in the "right" order etc.
- I avoid stepping on things I have categorised as "uneven" because I don't like feeling uneven. So, if I step on something uneven with one foot I want to step on something uneven with the other foot as well. To make it even.
- I prefer to touch certain things (far from all things) the same amount of times with both hands. If I press a button in the elevator I press it once with my right hand and once with my left hand. If someone gives me a high-five they have to even it out by giving my other hand a high-five as well. Things like that.
- I count steps and a few things I do.
- I read and reread things I write multiple times to avoid any mistakes. I also write and rewrite things which are "uneven". By that I mean that if I for example write a letter which looks different because I've managed to use a different amount of pressure when writing that letter (in comparison to the rest of the text) or if it just looks uneven then I erase it and rewrite it until it looks and feels right, which is annoying.

These are just a few examples. If I don't carry out these compulsions I don't get super anxious. It just feels wrong and I feel like I've got some sort of itch I really want to scratch. I tend to find it a bit difficult to focus until I've decided to carry out some of the compulsions. Others I just do automatically.

I don't want this to be a "do I have OCD"-thread. I've already got the diagnosis. I'm merely wondering if the diagnosis is correct and if it's true one doesn't need to have intrusive thoughts to have OCD. What do you think? Also, can anyone relate to this? Does anyone else have similar compulsions?

Thank you,

neutrino

PS. I understand a moderator or someone has to review what I've written before it's published (since I'm new) and before I can read it again. The fact that I won't be able to read this and check for mistakes over and over again makes me a bit anxious. I've already read this post four times and I still haven't managed to post it.