I've been depressed for a long time, I've been suicidal and having a hard time getting myself to do anything. To make things worse my boyfriend just broke up with me and I'm withdrawaling from risperdal. I woke up early today, I got it in my head that I was going to be more productive and had a bit of motivation.. I took a shower, ate, made some phone calls, got some stuff done to my car and then I decided to go to the park and take pictures.. I got there and started taking pictures but couldn't get into it, I didn't feel like walking around, I didn't like dealing with my camera, I didn't like being at the park and felt depressed, tired, and just wanted to go home so I left. I don't think I enjoy living.. I don't know what to do.