Hello, just wanted to introduce myself!

Very inspiring to read the posts in this thread. Wishing each of you much success on this journey.

I am a former alcoholic. I have been sober now for 5 years. I never thought the day would come when I could say that.

My story: started drinking at 13 and was full blown alcoholic by 17-18 years old. Never could drink socially. In and out of detoxes and rehabs for the next 15 years. It wasn't pretty.

For me, I finally just realized that I could never drink again safely. I tried, of course, for years to drink "normally," but the bottom kept getting deeper and deeper.

I woke up one morning in a house I didn't recognize, with people I didn't know, and I had no idea how I got there. It wasn't the first time, but these situations were happening frequently. I just knew I was going to die or do something terrible in a blackout that I could never take back.

I went to AA. I won't lie, the first year was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was holding on by a thread, but that thread didn't break, and the next year was easier, and these days when drinking crosses my mind, it's extinguished immediately by the sheer horror of having to go through all that pain again to be where I am at now.

My life is far from perfect, but being sober means I have the power to make decisions and change it. I may not be able to control everything, but I can seek help. And getting help while you are sober is so much easier than if you are still drinking. Sometimes sobriety takes care of a lot of issues. That was not the case for me, I still have panic/anxiety, but I don't have alcoholism on top of it, which makes it easier to manage.

The most beautiful, joyful, and meaningful moments of my life have been during these past five years. So hang in there, it will be worth it.