Composing posts mentally that you never post--man, can I relate to that. As well as the let-down feeling when you've finally typed it all out and it seems like so few people hear you!

I'm new around here (though not to MI forums), so I just figured that given your number of posts surely you had reached out plenty for yourself as well as to others. I doubt there's a soul here that wouldn't want to return the favors you've paid in support. (OK, there are always a few drama queens out there, but it seems like they're the exception here.)

All I can offer is some resonance and empathy. It sounds like you've already zeroed in on some issues and your need to deescalate the stress wherever possible. And goodness, woman, you have enough for five or six posts here. My poor addled brain is swimming (even more than usual). Spread the need around.