If or when you reach the end of your endurance again, take another walk. This time head to the nearest hospital emergency room. Tell them what you have done before with the gun and drugs. Tell them you desperately need help. They have to take you in whether you are insured or not. (If you know you have insurance, try to get to an approved ER to save you a lot of later paperwork hassle.) This will not cure you, but it buy you time and help you get re-oriented.