Quote:
Originally Posted by questionableowl
1) I guess distance and disapproval of him by her parents is what caused her to one day break up with him over the phone. He says that she never gave him a reason why or told her what was wrong, but he thinks it was distance and parents.
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My concern is, it's been 3 years since they broke up! Why does Houston bother him so much? And why does it still hurt him so much if he's over her and happy with me? If he's over it, then why does it all come back? I'm OVER over my first bf. Should these be statements coming from a man who's saying he wants to marry me and have a future with me? Does it seem to you like he still has feelings for her? I'm worried they are stronger than he will ever feel for me. What do you make of this? I am actually quite disturbed about these statements he made. Should I confront him? Is it normal to feel this way? I don't understand.
2)
Another thing...he still has journals from the time he dated her, and some of her letters and gifts to him. They are in boxes, but still...why did he keep them?
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1) re-read Romeo and Juliet. A great book. really, a great book. See the ballet by Prokofiev if you ever have one performed in your area - the ballet is great, too.
What would you learn from Romeo and Juliet? You would learn that parental disapproval and distance (in their case, not the geographical distance, but the inability to see one another due to the feud between the parents) are the very best ingredients in creating a tragic first love story: the very best. In the case of your bf and his former gf, there was no bilateral feud - only unilateral disproval on the side of her parents. But still - such things add motivation, challenge, and edge. And here you are, a nice girl who shares so much with him that she even got baptized into his religion and whose parents FAIL TO PROVIDE THAT ADDITIONAL MOTIVATION, CHALLENGE, and EDGE the way her parents did. OK? It is not a level playing field - there is not enough challenge in your case vis-a-vis her case. Your relationship with him is too placid. He is not being kept on his toes. Plus, you are not at all
enigmatic to him, while she is - she broke up with him without stating her reasons, so now he can spend the rest of his life pondering what the reasons might have been - this makes an enigma out of her.
2) He keeps the mementos because they remind him of a period of his life. Since he probably values the fact that he has been given the gift of life, he might, by extension, value the things that remind of him of how he used that gift in the past.