Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Friends are a renewable resource. You just need to know what you want. Once you get away from the family, things will be different. You have so much more insight into what is going on than I did, I don't see why you think you would be alone. Your life will be what you make of it. I LET myself be limited by my family's ideas of what my options were. You don't have to do that.
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I don't understand what having insight has to do with anything on this issue. Friends are a renewable resource. They will come and go. That is just a simple fact of life. No one is permanent. I'm not going to have anyone in my life to fall back on when everyone else leaves. I'm just going to continually experience losing people that mean everything to me because at the end of the day, I was born alone and I'll die that way because all I am to the people who were supposed to always be there for me is a checkmark on a bucket list. I don't want to live like that. I don't want to only have myself to fall back into. I can't stand myself. I hate spending time with myself because behind the mask of energy I wear around people, I'm a deeply miserable and empty person. I don't even think I like to be happy.