Thank you for your responses. I just want to end it all. I'm making plans of how and when i can do it. I'm sure i will fail like i fail everything else. I'm so tired of everything. I hate myself for messing everything up. I made my T angry yesterday and she was my only support. My pdoc said to call her if i feel sui but i'm not sure if i want to call her. Sorry, this post is so pointless...