Just like the title says I started therapy recently. I started three weeks ago and I've been to five sessions in that time (one "normal" session and two double sessions). I've tried therapy once before (in May) but that only lasted less than a month and then I quit because I really didn't like or trust my therapist. She seemed quite unprofessional and we really didn't get along. The new psychologist/psychotherapist seems much better and I hope I'll keep thinking that as things progress. Anyway, I hardly have any experience with therapy so I've got some questions:

1. Is it normal to feel exhausted and even quite depressed after a session? So far I've left the sessions feeling exhausted because of the sessions being very psychologically challenging. I've also felt very scared and low afterwards.

2. I'm afraid of pretty much everything and so far I haven't even been able to do the "small" and relatively "easy" exposures the therapist has asked me to do. Do you reckon it's possible that he'll give up on me if I don't do what he asks me to? I think I need to take things slow and I need my therapist to be patient with me. I'm afraid he thinks I'm annoying for saying no to the exposures he's suggested so far.

3. This might seem weird but I've lived with depression and anxiety disorders for so long it's like they're a part of me. I don't know who I am without them. That + me being very scared of changes and uncertainty makes me very anxious about therapy in general (though I want to be in therapy). What if I become "a different person"? What if I lose my sense of self? Could that happen?

There are so many thoughts in my head right now. So many questions. I've dealt with mental illness since I was a child (though I didn't start seeking help until about a year ago) but it's still just as confusing.

Thank you for reading,

neutrino