One thing it helped me keep in mind was that things do not change totally/all at once. Change is always quite slow and can often be too slow/boring! You literally cannot go from being depressed and afraid to not being depressed and afraid (like waking up tomorrow a new person :-) that fast. I relaxed a little knowing it would not go faster than I could go and my abilities/defenses were really really good so if it felt too fast or too much I would shut down. Trust your defenses and try some things out! You won't let yourself do too much.

Just don't let your head/thinking be in charge, they aren't any good at it which is why you are afraid and probably partly why you are depressed. Trust your body/automatic responses and don't feel ashamed if you shut down. Defenses work to defend and that's good, let them. Yes, they are too much but you will gradually learn that nothing bad happens and loosen them up as you go along.