Well, not to be a Debbie Downer, but I agree with you.
Up to high school, I drank the Disney and Hulk Hogan Kool-Aid. I thought if I just tried hard enough, worked hard enough and took my vitamins, I could accomplish anything. By my junior year it was obvious; even though I shot over 90% from the free throw line and over 30% from the three-point line, I would never even play 1A basketball, much less in the NBA. At 5' 8" I was too small to play shooting guard and not fast enough to play point.
So I started powerlifting while still studying hard. I won the state powerlifting championship my senior year, but was bursting blood vessels in my head while trying to train for the national championship. I couldn't ever compete again.
No bigs, I had a 3.98 GPA with plenty of extras, I was going to Kansas State University on a full scholarship wasn't I? Wasn't I?
No. I managed to get a scholarship to the local Junior college and am still in debt with the loans I had to take out to finish my Chemical Engineering degree.
Oh well, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and set off into the world. This was it, I was going to make good money as a chemical engineer and have a good life.
Right?
10 years later, I had been laid off twice. Once because I stopped a project from going in that would have killed someone. And I finally made as much as the people in the shop but had to work 20 hours more a week than them for it. I applied for a lab technician's position once and the manager asked me why.
"Let's see, you're guy's paychecks are literally double mine, they work less hours and have less responsibility," I responded. "That's a promotion in my book!"
So to borrow the words from The Blue Oyster Cult, you see me now a veteran of 1,000 psychic wars. My weapons are all used up and my armor is destroyed. I have no dreams, no ambitions. I'll never retire because, on the advice of financial advisors, my retirement is destroyed. I've been bankrupted because a company said they would move me and buy my house ... which they didn't.
I don't exist these days for my goals (thus the reason I can't really come up with goals in that self-esteem thread), I exist to try to help others achieve their goals. I don't really get personal satisfaction, but my joy comes from helping others gain their own personal satisfaction.
And you know what? That ain't all bad.
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