This is a new depression symptom for me. I feel so numb today that I feel like I am almost dead. Usually I can eat when I am depressed. Right now food disgusts me.

I had an assignment from my grief counselor to write a letter to Jason about the quilt I have in contributing to his death.

I just did it, I didn't cry once. But had this great urge to swallow all my meds. No feeling just like a robotic move.

I feel like 'me' has crawled so far inside it feels like a stranger is moving my body making decisions.

I wonder if this is a protective mechanism, because the pain and sorrow of losing Jason is too great I could not handle it. I guess it is like a dissociative state ?