The first time I went in this year my doctor insisted because I was suicidal and felt compelled to drive my car off the highway. The second time I went on my own because I felt compelled to overdose on my medications. This time I'm trying desperately to stay out even though I've been compelled to self harm and abuse my medication for days now. What's different this time is I feel like there's someone else controlling me, taking over my mind. But my therapist is not concerned nor is my pdoc so unless I go on my own I'm not going in. Thankfully.

Except my husband might make me go. I can't stay safe no matter what I do because I don't feel like I'm me anymore I feel like someone else is planting these thoughts in my head....and I HAVE to act on them.

Anyway not to make this about me. When I felt I couldn't control it anymore that is when I considered inpatient.