Quote:
Originally Posted by stuffed
I am getting trained as a psychotherapist and lately I have started to realize that during a session am afraid that my client might cry. I cringe up, my body get tensed and I find myself thinking "please don't cry, please don't cry"
This worries me. So slowly I have distanced myself from therapy and opted for assessment and psychometrics. This has gotten me down because I really want to be a good therapist.
This isn't limited to my professional life. In my personal life I feel I am not empathetic towards myself or others. Although I listen and no one knows how I am feeling, but it just bothers me. I don't like to share my problems, I have hardly ever cried in front of someone, I can't even recall the last time I cried in front of someone. But I cry, a lot these days. Mostly because I don't understand what's wrong with me. I wasn't this way before, I think.... I don't know.
Would highly appreciate feedback.
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The more I think about this, the more I think you are making the right choice to distance yourself from clinical work. Tensing up and when someone cries, and lacking in empathy ... I don't even know a nice way to say it, but that is just not a good combination in a therapist. I already feel like an idiot when I cry. If my therapist got tense, I would be able to tell and that would make me feel even worse and that much more like an idiot and like I had to hide my emotions. I have spent a lifetime dealing with people who want me to hide my sorrow and who have no empathy for me. The thought of trying to spend 50 minutes every week with one more person like that is horrible for me.