Wow aziza, that is terrifying. I am so sorry you've been through things like this. Have you considered that you may have PTSD? Those can lead to obsessive fears. And with what you've gone through, who can blame your mind?

I don't think anyone should feel the need to have respect for violent weapons, especially if they have had them used against them before. I mean; would you have respect for an abusive person in your life if you've once been abused? Of course not. I do think talking to your therapist more within this subject will help you a lot. You can sort out how to react to situations that make you anxious.

I hope you start feeling better soon. I can't imagine how hard that is.