I have to see a new doctor tomorrow (since we were put on medicaid our doctors changed). And I am not looking forward to it in the slightest. I am going to have an exam, and there is no way to hide my scars. And I don't feel like going through the ringer of mental health questions when it says clearly that I am in psychiatric treatment. But it's like they can't help themselves. And it makes me a nervous god damn wreck.

I am already freaking out that my suicide attempt in 2008 needs to be on the papers. I don't even want to bother going. I don't want them to look at me, or weigh me, or sigh at me. It just makes me want to cave and hurt myself.