As others have said, you don't seem to be ready for conducting therapy. What concerns me the most is that regardless of the techniques you may learn, you don't seem to fully realize how damaging your lack of authenticity is/would be to a client. You seem to think, at least on one level, that you are performing well for the client, but at the cost of your personal discomfort.

With all due respect, it isn't about you. It isn't about your perceived behavior. It isn't about controlling your affect. It isn't about your performance. It's about a lack of the most basic requisite to conducting a healing relationship: empathy. Until you can address that honestly through therapy for yourself, you have a responsibility to not pursue clinical work professionally.