I've been reading the forum regularly for 3 years, so I'm totally familiar with people who don't know how they want to use their therapy time or need to spend several sessions in silence before they feel able to speak. That makes sense to me. You're just the first (though I'm sure not only!) poster who mentioned that they prefer the therapist to do other work when they aren't speaking. It simply struck my curiosity because it isn't something I would have expected-- and I'm always interested in learning about experiences that are different from my own. I suppose I still don't know the answer to my question, either. What do you find helpful about going to therapy, when you and your T are engaged in different activities (you sitting/thinking/napping and her on calls/doing paperwork)? How is it more helpful to be in that room with T, than to do the same activities at home? Or why not wait to schedule a session until you have decided on what you want to talk about? Obviously, there is a reason you find it helpful or you would not continue to go-- I just have not understood what it is yet. And you certainly are not obligated to make me understand-- I'm just curious.

That's another way we're different! I'm a professor so I'm fairly comfortable with people staring at me-- usually they're a room full of 18-22 year old students, but I suppose I'm not picky! Personally, I like having T's attention focused on me. I've never really been at a loss for words but, if I were, I would want T to continue focusing her attention on me. The only times I have stopped talking is when I've been crying-- and that's when I've needed T's attention the most. But I probably have a different background and different reason for being in therapy. I didn't get any attention as a kid, so now I crave it as an adult-- particularly from someone who feels maternal to me. However, I could probably do with a little less attention in other areas-- perhaps fewer fewer student e-mails asking me "when is the assignment due?" or "what was the homework again?"