I often feel this also, quite keenly. It doesn't seem to matter much where along the spectrum of sanity I happen to be at any given time, and the same could be said for the company I might keep.

I tend to feel extraordinarily alone,different, separate. At times even distinct from those I am intimately close with. Sometimes the feeling can be really intense and sudden.

I do think part of it is simply the nature of my particular mental milk shake, how things play out can make trust and closeness difficult.

I don't know why my perspective has changed- I used to really think in terms of me being a reject or a loser- now... It's more like im from a different jigsaw puzzle. Which sounds kind of cheesey. And it still makes me sad, yeah.

But when I'm feeling ok, like not unbalanced,so to speak?
I do actually think I'm pretty awesome. There is a space between me and most other people,but I feel like maybe I need to reserve energy for intimate relationships with a very few people who have been hard to find- "diamonds in the rough" (Ha. Aladdin.).
And,really?

My early twenties kinda sucked.I hate to pull that age crap on you, I'm not actually that much older. But 5 or 7 years can make a difference in how you settle into yourself, how you find those few special people you make connections with, and understanding what kind of relationships can be beneficial and how to cultivate those.


I suppose... on the occasions that it actually is.
I don't see that here though.

-Josie