The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans is a book which should be required reading for everyone on the planet. Abusers are excruciatingly insecure and will say and do anything to keep you. You have to find a way to respect yourself so that you won't accept abusive behavior, What you don't realize is that most people are too busy thinking about themselves to notice you much or at all. Everyone has issues, no one feels perfect about themselves. There is nothing wrong with us. We are all born perfect and innocent and somewhere along the way person(s) tell us lies about ourselves. They are just that....lies. THEY are insecure.