I was thinking that this was just a matter of chemistry, a bad fit, until I read this:
Quote:
|
How do I say, "I think I'm good even if you don't and I'm sick of you getting irritated with me and then me doing the same to you--I could have stayed married if I enjoyed that--but please still see my son and me when I bring him."
|
This made me think, hmm, maybe a little bit of transference? Not the colloquial "I'm in love with my therapist" kind, but the classic, projecting feelings about someone onto your therapist kind. Is it possible that at times the therapist reminds you of your ex-husband, even a little? Like, you both care about your son, and when focused on him all is fine, but individually, you feel his judgement and ambivalence. Sometimes he feels well-disposed toward you, but you sense at other times the same kind of irritation and opposition you felt with your ex. And he makes the observation that your body language shows you have unresolved feelings about your ex.
It sounds like it might be transference, i.e. you are replicating your relationship with your ex-husband in your individual therapy sessions. And it sounds like your T might be thinking that same thing. That is a potential gold mine to explore with the therapist, if you are so inclined. Obviously, if it's just too much, stop your individual appointments. The therapist will not punish your son for it, if he's any kind of therapist at all (and he sounds like he's a professional).
But if I were your friend, I would urge you to tell him what you've told us, and be open to exploring those feelings. It could lead to some really useful and healing work. Just a thought. (and congratulations on being a caring parent and getting your kids the help they need to live healthier lives--you sound like a great mom!)
