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I don't know what to tell you. You know it hurts you. You are a good and valuable person who deserves to be fed, and doesn't deserve to be hurt like this. I'm proud of you for coming out and telling us so straightforwardly. That urge to keep it a secret is part of the eating disorder, and you really need to fight it. PTSD just makes it that much harder, but there are people who care about you and want to help you if you will let them.

<font color=orange>"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill "</font color=orange>