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Originally Posted by tinyrabbit
I have attempted sui. But as a teenager who had dissociated lots so I cant tell you how I felt. I will say that I think it's helpful to separate out the feelings and the actions. It's like wanting to eat a cake and finding reasons not to - you can decide not to eat it but still crave it, still feel hungry. I think it's important to work out what belongs to the actual hunger if that makes sense?
I find myself thinking of ways to do it but I know that, for me, it's part of the hunger, not me actually getting a plate and getting ready to eat the cake. But that's just me. Sorry I sound rather unemotional, am feeling a bit robotic today, it's not personal. Big hugs to you.
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Big hugs to you, I can't imagine having survived the experience (and I am thankful you were not succssful). Thank you for sharing. I have always tried to view these as my mental way of wanting out, of course most of us want out of our pain. I do see myself as a hamster spinning on a wheel in search of that elusive way through the pain of life (or out of it) and grabbing onto these thoughts is me running faster on that wheel looking for a way off (does that mean I want to die- no, I just want out of the pain and off the wheel).