Thank you so much ocdwifeofsociopath & spondiferous for your beautiful replies...

Yes, I'm very happy in this forum, & sharing understanding & support with people having similar problems like me...

It's just that I can't find somebody who could practice psychotherapy or CBT with me here in Egypt. I've been changing psychiatrists & medications for around 15 years now, but medications don't work with me, 'cause nobody practices psychotherapy here. So I don't know how to find psychotherapy or CBT?!

I don't know also how to stop this "stopping/starting my life all over again" thing that hinders me from continuing my work, studies, & life activities, & I wonder if any of you know of a trick or way you learned of to stop it, maybe?!

Thank you so much again for your much appreciated & needed replies & support :*)