I have that exact same fear... I'm too scared to get too close because I'm afraid I might be rejected, so I watch from the sidelines. I'm still a Cristian and love God... but I keep my distance... does that make sense??? I think the most horrible thing that could happen is if I turn to God for help and I get let down... He is the One I don't even want to give a chance to dissappoint me, because what do I do when He does???