You're going to continue to have problems if you don't see your doctor. Period (or no period).

I can't tell you what your problem is because I am not a doctor and neither are you. You can't diagnose yourself as menopause because you may in fact have an infection or a serious issue that you do not know about because of your insecurities. I have issues with people touching my lady parts too but I know that in order to be healthy I have to get over my fears and let the doctor touch me. And all she does is stick a finger or a speculum inside and checks, she's not massaging you or anything. I would strongly suggest seeing a doctor.