Hi, radioflyer. Yes, that therapist was acting unethically.

You were, in fact, his client, because you were consulting him as the parent of a client, so as to remain informed about your son's progress and to participate, as needed, in his life at the school.

You weren't calling because you met in a cafe and hit it off.

I really think there's not a whole lot of question that what he did was not only unprofessional, but unethical, and calls into question his ability to maintain appropriate therapeutic boundaries with clients, esp. female clients, which I hope he didn't/doesn't have.

If you're remembering it now for some particular reason-- for example, if something in your life now is reminding you of it, or seems similar in some way-- I would definitely discuss this with your own T or your group T.

It may be that your group T mishandled the incident by discussing it so extensively in a group setting. I would have hoped that she could have scheduled a private appointment to work with you on some of why you were drawn into the relationship, and also some of your feelings of guilt or anger at her own reactions of condemnation.

Sounds like there's a lot unresolved there. Also, I'm concerned, if there's any possiblity that you're becoming involved in something that' s not in your own self-interest again.

It's not that you should feel guilty-- it's more that you may, and that you need to work on protecting yourself, and having safe boundaries--

I'm sorry this is troubling you. Maybe it's a chance to work through some long-term issues.

Vautrin