went to the hospital for a few days. got med changes. got a little bit of hope.
i traveled to a different city in order to get better help, and the hospital bit was good. at first they were going to try to set me up with pdoc and DBT therapist/group in a city about an hour from where I live. They also said my T isn't qualified to help me because she is an intern, though we have a good therapeutic relationship and I feel like I can really trust her.

anyway, so then they (pdoc and social worker at the hospital) decide to pursue follow up in my town...at the same place i was seeking help before (where I went in last week and told them I wasn't ok, couldn't get in the walkin appointments and my case manager just let me walk out in tears). So now..>I get to meet with said case manager on Tuesday morning. Was told that this place can provide me "mental health support" a couple times a week and should never refuse to see someone in a crisis situation. blah blah blah

I don't know....feeling hopeless again.