Because that's how this dysfunction works. It alienates and dehumanizes. A lot of the time when I am locked in some kind of... I don't even know what to call it... OCD-induced pseudo primal hysteria crap, part of it is that talking directly about it is a BAD THING.
For various reasons.

It's only just recently that I am able to talk about it like I have here. I push hard to do that, and not to be melodramatic though it sounds it, it's almost like if I don't talk about it at all, I feel it might be a risk to my survival.

I can write about it much easier to random people on the internet if I am less specific about the exceptionally gruesome details.

Talking to my parents is not an option.

I was with my last therapist for years before she heard about any of this, but it seems to be reaching epic proportions. It's almost like a kind of self preservation.

I know it all sounds so terribly, unnecessarily melodramatic.
Because... I mean, its "just" OCD?
Not a big deal?