Not even sure if this is the right forum, but what i'm gonna post is something that has been bothering me for a long time.

I've always been insecure about myself. Looks, grades, social life, friends, relationships, you name it. Like. everything. i spend hours each day thinking about the ways I should or should not act, do, talk or whatever, because i dn't wanna have a bad day. I hate social gatherings, but with a few of my friends that are the closest is fine. Everyone says I just have to be myself and don't give a ***** to those who don't like me, and I am trying to be happy go lucky and positive and confident and other worries stem as in: am i being too over-confident?

Everytime I think about myself and other people on this world, I just don't feel like living anymore. Life is just a journey to the grave. I know my parents love me, and so do my friends and all, but I'm just not happy. AM I being unappreciative of life?

Each day getting up is just so hard. It's so hard doing the dishes, or laundry, or even walk up from my bed to the kitchen to do a simple chore. I feel the need to congratulate myself after being able to take a shower. I've read that these symptoms are part of depression, but what the heck am i depressed about?

Grades, I'm just so lazy to pick up a pen to do notes. I try my best to write a few sentences, and then i get lost in thinking about the nature of life or smth crappy and deep like that. I'm just doomed in academics. I can't focus. Worried about getting into uni, worried about saying the wrong thing in front of friends or family, worried about everything in life, IT'S SO overwhelming. Focusing on studies IS a good thing, right? I'm not even sure what's wrong or right anymore.

Heh, I sound demented. But whoever has experienced this, please, by all means, share your opinion. I think I really need some help here.