I have read all of the other posts and yet no one here seems to see any fault in what you are doing. First of all, you are not working. I, myself stay at home and my fiancee works to take care of us, but the difference is this; I cook him meals, do his laundry, clean the house, and greet him at the door when he comes in from a long day at work with an ice cold drink in hand for him. I do not ask for money, I ask him for what I need. If I leave the house he offers me money or the bank card. I do not go into his account because he has worked for his money, not me. My job is to take care of him in all the ways a wife cares for her husband. Yes, him saying mean things to you is wrong, but honestly, is going out and spending 200-300 dollars a week, and hanging out with your friends, and leaving the house dirty, and not having sex helping you in anyway? I am sure it isn't. Here is your answer- even if you don't cook every night, cook 2-4 times a week. Clean the house, even if it isn't spotless, it should be cleaner than when he left. And when he comes in ill and in a bad mood, drop his pants right there in the doorway and just 'give it to him'. My fiancee and I have no fights, we take care of one another, and make sure that we are equally satisfied. I assure you that it really is that simple. It takes 2, but if you show him you are willing to go the extra steps to change, or make things better, he will do the same regardless of what all these people say. 20 years is a long time to throw away, and do you really want to leave? Sounds like you have it made and don't even see it.